ASHesofpoems

How can you let go of a past when you can't see a future? The future is a blank canvas while the past is beauty and pain and color. How can you let go of what's real to dive into the unknown? The shackles of traumas and memories and pain are familiar. Staying here wouldn't be so scary, locked up tight and damaged but safe. Safe from whatever new pains lay hiding in wait for you to try again. Stay trapped in the darkness, drowning in stagnation but safe. The pains eventually fade and neutrality and loneliness settle deep. Things won't get bad again, but they'll also not get better. Rest while the wounds heal from the knives of the past. Remember and respect the memories and emotions that they share. Build yourself back up to venture on the jagged path. Change and not knowing what lies ahead is terrifying. Losing people, gaining others, happiness, sadness, pain, love.. Anything can change in the blink of an eye. The picture of your life will continue with or without you. Being stuck

When I first heard it The stab to my heart was intense It hurt to hear you Call her what you called me When you came back into my life You said it more and more It hurt to see you Be so happy about someone else But I was happy to see you smile So I hid it all from you It hurt to love you Like you could never love me Every time you talk about her Is another nail in my heart It hurts to listen To the way you talk about her I'm happy she's good for you After all you've been through But it hurts to know I can't be enough I have to avoid topics That I didn't before It hurts to see Anything related to her At the end of the day No matter how happy I can be for you That doesn't stop the pain

A heart that yearns for the past For the future to be different Burns from the flames Chills from despair Though I know it cannot be I cannot control my heart As I watch it get stabbed And ripped to shreds I know that I am hopeless I have never been enough Yet this hope doesn't fade As I drown in my tears I try so hard for others But I'm always tossed away My usefulness diminished Once I give my soul The loneliness kills me Watching the others smile I'm on the outside looking in The last match fading I just want to be enough

And maybe one day The moon and the stars Will align in such a way That the hopeless fool Won't be so hopeless